Travesty.

So let me preface by saying that I know the outcome of the results show and I am none too pleased. That being said...THIS is American Idol.

We're recapping the good, bad, and ugly from last night. All in all, last night's show was a bit lackluster, if I'm being honest. I voted for Casey, Paul, Lauren and I think one other person, but I can't remember who.

Over 30 million votes. Again.

Marc Anthony gave the contestants some assistance with "hearing themselves" on stage. I have two things to say about this. 1) I know how difficult it is to hear yourself on stage while singing in front of large masses of people. I even know how difficult it is to deal with that in a building that is over 80 years old, but that's not the point, I suppose. 2) GET OVER IT. Yeah, it sucks to not hear yourself. But like I said last night, if you can't sing on pitch when you can't hear yourself, you can't sing on pitch. End of story.

Marc Anthony is weird. Weird looking and just weird.

The Top 11 are going to sing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." And we're starting with the token people of color. Comeon Idol! Lauren looks pretty with her hair up like that. I must say, I enjoy the fact that we are no longer lip synching the group sings. They're not exactly good, but it's better than faking it till they don't make it. Oh, Naima with your crazy dancing. I literally just gasped when Stevie showed up. Apparently so did Steven Tyler. I love Stevie Wonder. So much. Steven Tyler looks like he's having so much fun!!! I love it!!!! Awesome. HEART.

Stevie is callin' out Steven Tyler because it's his birthday. This is like the best thing I've ever seen!!!!!!!!!!! I love it! I love Stevie Wonder AND Steven Tyler.

Ryan keeps saying it's a surprising results show. I'll say.

Music Video. Oh goodness, we're promoting recycling now? Yipes.

Lauren, Pia, Scotty are up. I know one of the three bottom three and that person is not in this group. All three are safe. Ryan just confused everyone in the room by telling them they all needed to pack their bags though. That was classic.

Sugarland! I enjoy them. I have to groove with them. Please hold.

James is into wrestling. And he played with dolls last week. Strange.

HAHA! JacobPaul very effeminately refused to talk about wrestling! That was awesome!

James is apparently obsessed with watching wrestling. This is the first (and only) indicator that I have seen to warrant his previous statement that he has Asperger's. I guess at this point it doesn't really matter. I just prefer people to be accurate when they throw around such diagnoses.

Boy Kieran is dimming the lights. James and Paul are up. Ryan is SHORT! I predict Paul is in the bottom 3. Except I just looked it up and VFTW has him as their favorite. And we all know they tend to be relatively successful with their infiltration techniques. (See Sanjaya). Ryan says it's unbelievable but neither of them are safe. Because Hulk Hogan just came out on stage. James is about to wet his pants. Hulk Hogan tells them they're both safe and then punches Ryan out and rips his shirt.

Okie-doke.

Paul:"I don't understand. Is he a fan or something?" Apparently he was intently looking at the Drudge Report or College Basketball scores or something more riveting than American Idol. Psh. As if.

I really want to see that movie "Soul Surfer" about the girl who got her arm bitten off by a shark. I know, I'm a sap.

Jacob, Thia, and Stefano are center stage. We all know my prediction is incorrect. But Thia should be in the bottom three. JacobPaul is safe. He is going on tour. Hot Dawg! Thia is in the bottom three. So is Stefano.

Interesting. Ryan calls Naima, Casey, and Haley over and says "Interesting night folks! Make sure you stay with us for the entire show." Thanks for the setup Ryan. Naima is safe. And she is SHOCKED! So am I, frankly. Pleased, but shocked. If there was any justice at all, Haley would be in the bottom three. But alas, she is not. Casey is in the bottom three. And many people are confused. Including me. I mean REALLY America? Really? He has more talent in his curly mop of hair than Haley, Thia, and Scotty combined. He's a true artist and a musician and all you crazy AI voters can do is vote for the one's that look pretty. Ridiculous.

Jennifer Hudson is singing. I honestly don't remember her season. She looks fantastic though. Annnnnd fast forwarding. Sorry Jenn. I need to go to bed.

Thia is safe. Blasphemy.

Stefano and Casey are awaiting their fate. The whole group is in total shock and they cut Stefano's microphone for a couple minutes.

Casey is singing "I Don't Need No Doctor." He's got this. Haley is crying because she knows she should be gone. The judges stopped him 38 beats in (yes, I counted) and told him they'd save him. Steven: "This is crazy wrong, we've made a decision to keep you on." Casey is about to throw up. Literally about to throw up. He has been saved. He didn't expect it because there are 11 people left. I will now be voting only for him. Only Casey. All Casey, all the time, baby! I'm gonna make him win this show if it's the last thing I do. That is all.