Stevie Wonder Night.

Oh no. It's Motown night. This is probably going to be catastrophic for the majority of the contestants. I predict a lot of name-dropping. I also predict that Casey and Stefano will be fantastic.

I love Motown music. Particularly Stevie Wonder. Berry Gordy is a genius, really. Jimmy Iovine: "The artists in Motown, easily some of the best artists in music, ever." Me: No kidding.

Casey Abrams has his hair slicked back. He looks like a troll doll. Or a serial killer. He's going to sing Marvin Gaye "I Heard it Through the Grapevine." Brilliant. There are sultry violinists hanging out by the judges. This is amazing. He sang at a girl who stuck her tongue out at him. I'm assuming they know each other. If not, she should be escorted out by security immediately. Steven Tyler: "You're the perfect entertainer, perfect pitch and perfect mix of crazy-tush out of control ego. That's what makes it great." He didn't say tush, in case you're confused. Jenny from the Block: "There's no one out there like you right now, you can definitely carve out a neech for yourself." Me: What's a neech? Is that like a niche? Randy Yo Dawg: "You're a true original, you take chances, you can only do you and that you is great. Me: You Yo. Turns out, the tongue girl is Casey's friend Becca. So there you go.

Ebenezer Scrooge is in the audience. Apparently he makes guitars for Aerosmith? I'm not clear on this.

Thia had a tough week. So did we, you sang Pocahontas. She's singing "Heatwave" by Martha and the Vandellas. This could be strange. Or amazing. Her voice is so low. I'm pretty sure she just started trying to clap on the wrong beat. Yep. She did. She fails. Jenny from the Block: "We're scratching the surface a little bit. Dig deeper each week." Randy Yo Dawg: "Yo, yo we knew you had it in you, right? It's about taking chances, you didn't sing a really safe ballad, I think Jennifer's right, you can really sing, I'm glad you moved up a notch. Push, push!" Me: "She's having a baby?" Steven: "I'm good with it, yeah." Me: I love Steven Tyler's succinct judging. Much better than Kahra's gobbledygook.

JacobPaul is singing "You're All I Need to Get By." Jimmy Iovine says there's no one more natural to sing Motown than Jacob. That's racist Jimmy. JacobPaul says he sings songs that mean something. He says he's going to relax on the high notes but it's hard when you get out there and you can't hear yourself so you just go for it. Let. It. Go. Sometimes you can't hear yourself. Not an excuse for being tonedeaf. Bob Babbitt is playing guitar with JacobPaul. He's muttering to himself on stage. Creepy. The boy has a robot in his ear so he'd better not use his "I can't hear" excuse this week. This is actually really good. So far. Jenny from the Block tried to sing along and did not know the words. That was hilarious. Ok I have a couple things to say. This is not a facial contortion convention. Jim Carrey has facial contortions on lock, mmkay? Secondly, femininity on a man is not pleasant. And finally, stay away from the unnecessary highness. Steven Tyler couldn't contain himself and ran up on stage, claiming JacobPaul is "Baby Luther." Randy Yo Dawg: "Yo. Yo. Listen here. The great Berry Gordy is somewhere sayin' Oh My Gosh. That was your other great performance on the show." Me: Namedrop count=1 His ONE OTHER good performance. Do you not want someone who has consistently good performances? And not just a one trick pony show? If you can't sing when you can't hear yourself, you can't sing. Got it? Got it. Steven Tyler: "You milked it. It was beautiful." Jenny from the Block: "You made us beg." Me: "Who is this "us?" And, I don't really want any milk right now." JacobPaul just made me lose a bet to Craig Gutman.

Lauren Alaina is singing "You Keep Me Hangin' On." Apparently, Lauren has been made fun of since being on American Idol. Sorry, girl. You're still a fave. This is going to be amazing. Sometimes you just know. I love her dress. It was good. Steven Tyler: "You don't listen to anyone about anything. And I love that about you." Jenny from the Block: "You look amazing tonight. You had so much attitude. That's what it needed." Randy Yo Dawg: "So we saw this young girl in Nashville that blew us away. Last week, that girl returned to compete. She has swagger, she's ready." Me: It was good. I wanted it to be better, but it was good. Vote.

Stefano is up. He's singing "Hello" by Lionel Richie. Y'know, I don't think this is a Motown song. It was pretty, but it was boring. And not Motown. Jenny from the Block: "Fine: check. Sing like crazy: check. You have that. Now, again, we want you to connect. I don't want the intensity to come from you wanting to do well, I want the intensity to come from your heart is breaking. Once you do that, you'll fly out of the building." Randy Yo Dawg: "You can sing. You bit off a big chunk today, but there was no real emotion." Steven Tyler: "You ramped up too soon. Pull back a little bit." Jenny from the Block was interrupting a lot and it was difficult to figure out what people were saying. They have ADD tonight.

Randy just alluded to Ryan and Stefano possibly having a relationship? What?

Haley is singing "You Really Got A Hold on Me." I didn't watch the intro package. Because, frankly, I don't care. I like her hair straight. Poo squat. Twice. Gordon Ramsey is in the audience. He looks less than amused. She just really annoys me. A lot. Her range is really good, but she has a lame attitude. Randy Yo Dawg: "It started a little bit rough, but by the middle of the song the Haley we love came roaring back. I'm happy to see you return to that form, yo. A little Janis Joplin." Namedrop: 2 Steven Tyler: "You sang your heart out. You don't look a day over fabulous." Jenny from the Block: "You can do anything with your voice. You have the most soulful voice of the competition." Me: "Really? I think Casey's pretty soulful. Or even Lauren."

Scotty plays basketball at the mansion. Whatever. He's singing "For Once in My Life." They tried to give it a country vibe. Uhh-oh. The smirk is back. This is a bit endearing, actually. He's so awkward. Like, lovable awkward. Steven Tyler: "That was beautiful. Just like Glenn Campbell. You really ripped it." Me: Steven is namedropping too??? Jenny from the Block: "I didn't know what you were gonna do. If I'm gonna be totally honest, it wasn't your strongest vocal performance, but when you hit that low note on the end, you get me all over again." Randy Yo Dawg: "I agree, not your strongest performance, it needed to peak sooner, but you're a young ladykiller."

Pia is singing "All in Love is Fair" by Stevie Wonder. Never heard of it. Leave Stevie alone, people. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ........
Pia is directing air traffic with her hand movements. Incredibly annoying. That was a huge bore. Jenny from the Block: "You kill us with one of your killer ballads. If I'm gonna give you any constructive criticism, something about Celine Dion, I need you to do more." Me: I need you to do something else. Randy Yo Dawg: "I agree with Jennifer. You keep doing ballads. Come on! We can't live on ballads alone." Steven Tyler: "You are the closest star in this American Idol universe." Me: Really? You guys are sipping some Paula juice this evening.

Paul McDonald is up. He's singing "Tracks of My Tears" by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles. I'm excited for this. I enjoy it. I really enjoy it. Randy Yo Dawg: "I like you're not really dancing around, you played guitar, you have a distinctive voice. I was a little worried, you took it to a Rod Stewart kinda place. Dude, when you sing tender, like it's so cool. " Namedrop: 3. Steven Tyler: "Like Dylan, like Willie Nelson, it's beautiful in that sense." Me: Namedrops????? Jenny from the Block: "You address the crowd. You're a complete package." Me: I agree. I think he's unique and good. His voice is good. Sorry Craig.

Naima is singing "Dancin' in the Street" by Martha and the Vandellas. Wow the bellbottoms!!!!!!!! I'm diggin' this so far. I liked it. Very little pitchy dawg moments. Big improvement. Crazy pants, but good overall. Steven Tyler: "I don't know what to say again. I heard you came up with the drums, the dance, once again we see the whole package." Jenny from the Block: "You're an exciting performer. It was my first little goosebumps of the night." Me: Yay! Randy Yo Dawg: "I've been a little rough on you the last couple weeks, I know. But finally tonight, all of Naima showed up." Me: Go Naima!

James Durbin is singing "Livin' for the City" by Stevie Wonder. Leave. Him. Alone. Bob Babbitt is there again. Apparently he's an original Funk Brother. I predict a lot of screaming. And we all know how I feel about the screaming. Yep. Too much screaming. Sorry James. It was good, but a little over the top for me. James is being cocky again. Jenny from the Block: "You are serious business up there. You leave me speechless." Randy Yo Dawg: "It was rough when it started, but it's all good." I just read somebody's Tweet that said 50% is not a passing grade. I have to agree. Steven Tyler: "Sometimes it takes a little bit of being crazy to make a difference in this world. And you have it. You nailed it."

Bottom Three: Thia, Scotty, Haley

Going home: Haley (long overdue)