Cuts

We're cutting people, people.

Steven Tyler is wearing a bright pink shirt. Bright pink. Yipes.

Randy Yo Dawg is explaining how the cut will work. We'll find out the Top 10 and then the judges will choose wild card singers to sing again from the 14 losers. No idea how MANY wild card singers they will keep, but, when have the judges ever known what is going on??

Steven Tyler refuses to say whether the girls or guys were better this week. Girls. Seriously.

Replay from Tuesday night when the guys performed. No. Still not good.

Stefano is telling Ryan how much he wants everyone else to make it. That's a good attitude to have.

Sigh. It is not necessary to tell me that the contestants lives have changed. I'm aware.

Casey wants to have a bass off with Randy Yo Dawg. Casey will win. For sure. People I know named Casey seem to play the bass well...

I love Casey Abrams. He professes to be a lumberjack and I'm ok with that.

Truer words have not been spoken. Scotty McCreery "To be a country singer, you gotta be a country boy."

Brett thinks he's a burnt cookie with frosting. Or a rainbow cookie in a pile of chocolate chip cookies. Dear Brett, please stop trying to be metaphorical. You just end up being awkward and making me make fun of you.

Scotty and Robbie are up. If I didn't already know the results, I would think that both were out.

Scotty said legendary! That's legendary! Both of these boys are babies! They're in high school.

Also, Robbie= Danny Zuko. Or a Jet. Scotty is in the Top 10!!!!!!! Robbie is not. Whomp-Wahhh.

Clint, Jordan, Jovany. Now, honestly had I been watching this last night, I would have thought Clint and Jordan make it, simply because I hate them so much. I would be on the fence about Jovany. Honestly, I don't think any of them should make it.

Ryan recaps the night for Clint, asks Randy what he thinks, and Randy tells him Clint is an amazing singer. Oh, Clint, get ahold of yourself. There's no need to have a breakdown quite yet. It's not like you've won.

Ryan recaps Jordan and then asks Jordan what he'd do differently. Jordan: "Pick another song." Me: "Well, too late. Maybe you should just own up to the fact that you're not the best singer that ever lived and take what's coming to you." He then says that he would have sang John Legend. Jenny from the Block asks which one, he tells her and she says it would have been perfect. See, he's acting like somebody held a gun to his head and MADE him "sing" Usher. Nobody made you do anything, Jordan!

Recaps Jovany and he's just grateful for the opportunity. Blah-de-blah.

They're all not in. Whoa. James Durbin's eyebrows just did a jig. He does, in fact, have Tourette's. I'm still not sold on Aspergers.

Time for the girls. Recap of their performances. Their lives have changed.

Pia and Lauren are finding out. They both should make it. Pia looks like she may pass out. Lauren is wearing a handkerchief for a shirt. And she has one soulcrusher feather earring. Ryan tells her that Kelly Clarkson tweeted that she reminds her of Kellie Pickler. That's just mean. Oh wait, Ryan thinks it was a compliment. Anyway, they're both in. Huzzah.

Tatynisa and Julie. Tatynisa: HECK NO. Julie: Possibly yes. Julie thinks she let everyone down. She did. But at least she knows she messed up. Lookin' at you Jordan. Also, Tatynisa looks like a giant. She's out. Julie may vomit on the stage. She's out too. I'm a little surprised by that, honestly.

Karen, Ashthon, and Kendra. Karen: yes. Ashthon: yes. Kendra: No. Ryan recaps Kendra and asks her how she felt, then cut her off while she was talking. Ashthon liked being called a diva. Karen wants Latinas to take over the world. Have you been to So Cal?

Ashthon is not in the top 10. She for SURE rolled her eyes as she walked to the Stools of Shame.

Karen is in the top 10. Duh.

Kendra is not. Good. I don't think I could stand her ridiculous hand gestures anymore.

Tim, Casey, Jacob are up. Tim: yes. Casey: yes. Jacob: yes. Jacob is very interested in the floor. Casey feels sexy. Steven thinks Tim should sing Jason Mran or John Mayer. Who is Jason Mran??

Jacob is in the top 10. He will now scream like a girl. For several minutes. No, actually, he will grunt. Weird. His family members are doing a rain dance.

Ryan tells the other 2 that one is in the top 10 and one is not. Tim immediately looks devastated. Casey is in. No joke.

Naima, Thia, Lauren T. are in. Naima: yes. Thia: yes. LaurenT: yes.

Naima has crazy clothes. But I love it. Thia is wearing a 5 year old's sweater. LaurenT just looks sad.

One of them is in.

Naima is not in the Top 10. Boo sauce.

Thia is in. LaurenT has not. Boo sauce again.

Brett and Paul are up. Brett: no. Paul: yes. Brett likes to hug, toss his hair, and eat cookies. Also, he likes wearing glasses in his hair unnecessarily.

Paul is wearing a fantastic jacket. Wow, he has white teeth.

Paul is in the top 10. Yay sauce!

Brett is not in the top 10. Yay sauce again!

Haley and Rachel are the last 2 girls. Haley: no. Rachel: yes. She also is wearing a an old woman dress. What's happening!?

Rachel is wearing something from Gone with the Wind on top.

Haley is in the top 10. Lamest sauce ever.

Stefano and James are the last two guys. James: yes (lame sauce) and Stefano: no (only because there is only one spot left).
Aww...sad, they're BFFs!

James is in the top 10.

So the top 10 are:
Scotty
Lauren A*
Pia*
Jacob*
Paul
K-Rod*
Thia
James*
Haley
Casey*

Those with * are the ones I called. 60% accurate. Not bad. Maybe my score will increase once the wild card round is over.

There are 14 people in danger of leaving. Some of those people get to sing again.

Ashthon is singing first. She's singing "And I Am Telling You." I needed this to be a lot better than it was. But they're all ferklempt about it, so the bet is that she's in.

Stefano is up. Hooray! He's singing "I Need You Now." His voice is bee-you-tee-full. Can I ask a question? Why does the camera keep cutting to James Durbin while other people are doing things? I don't really care what he's doing while other people are actually singing instead of screaming. Randy Yo Dawg told Stefano he anointed the moment. Jenny from the Block is shaking.

Kendra is singing again. WHY?!?! She's singing "Georgia." Yes, I know where my eyes are. You don't have to point. She also growls unnecessarily. They seem ambivalent about it, so I'm hopeful that she'll leave.

Jovany gets to sing again. Surprising. He's singing "Angel" or something. I'm over him. And it's in Espanol. Que lastima. He's not doing himself any favors. He's very awkward. And he's sending a subliminal message by shaking his head no. Jenny from the Block tells him he did all he could do. So he's done.

Naima is going to sing. So Tatynisa, LaurenT, Julie, and Rachel are officially out. Bummertude for Julie, LaurenT, and Rachel.

Naima is singing "For All we Know." I don't know what it is about her, but I like her. She's really growing on me. Steven tells her she brought it.

Robbie gets to sing. Which means...... Brett, Jordan, Tim, and Clint are all out!!!!!! Jordan and Clint, good riddance. Brett, get some help with your awkward self, and Tim best of luck.

Robbie is singing "Sorry Seem to Be the Hardest Word." I'm fast forwarding because I'm very sleepy. Robbie: "What have I gotta do, to make you loooohve me." Paul: "A nose job would help." He has a very pronounced nose. Lauren is crying. Why? Are they "friends?" Randy Yo Dawg: "This is so hard, Ryan."

Jenny from the Block says they need a couple minutes. Matter of fact, they need just enough time to watch her new music video. Sheesh.

So far, I hear a lot of autotune and I see a lot of glitter. And someone just told me to back it up like a Tonka truck. Really? Whatever. That was weird.

The Wild Cards are:

Ashthon (she's very surprised)
Stefano (he's pumped)
Naima (she's going to throw up or pass out one of these nights)

So there we go. Top 13.

AND! All three of those people were on my list. So I rock, basically.