Take that!

It's elimination night. 2 days late. I'm sorry, people, but this pregnant lady knocks out early these days. Something about growing a person...I'm not sure.

The judges are talking about how fantastic the performances were. I just really didn't see it. The only one I got really excited about was Casey. The rest were just a'ight for me for you dawg.

Ok, Jenny from the Block has some serious wardrobe difficulties on this show. She dresses like it's the Grammy's every night. It's just American Idol, J-Lo.

Ryan says there were 53 million votes. Which, according to my calculations means that 200 teenagers voted at least 150 times each. I know I only voted 15 times for Casey so...

Oh, Lord. We're doing that stupid many group sing thing again. Scotty and Lauren are singing "American Honey." Scotty's twang is seriously grating on my last nerve. Lauren, however, looks and sounds phenomenal. Paul: "She loves those soul crusher earrings." Their harmony was a little out of tune, but it was cute.

I'm not sure about this video. They are zombies. It makes me frightened. It also made me chuckle.

Casey and Haley are singing "Moanin." And to say that Haley is significantly worse than Casey is the worst understatement anyone could ever make. I would watch it again simply because Casey was amazing, but Haley just annoys me too much. Casey sang her up, down, left, right, inside out and right side out. Also, I seriously hope the rumor that their dating is not true. Because she is bad news. Oh, and Haley's hair is awful.

Casey, Haley, Lauren, and Scotty are finding out results. Scotty is safe. See? 200 teenagers. One of the other three are in the bottom three. It better be Haley. Lauren is safe. Haley better be in the bottom three. She is! America gets it right! For once.

Rob Reiner (Meathead)is going to teach the Idols....I have no idea what. Meathead is trying to be funny. He's not. Ok, he's a little bit funny. Casey and Haley want to be actors. Casey, yes. Haley, no. Please, please no. I have one thing to say to Rob Reiner, "Stifle, Meathead!"

Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson, Queen of Idol. That man is very enthusiastic about shaking that shaker. It's just a shaker dude. I really have no thoughts on this performance. Kelly Clarkson can definitely sing.

Kelly just called Ryan out for rephrasing her tweets about Casey. The whole thing was just strange.

Stop. Just stop it. Paul, JacobPaul, Stefano, and James are going to sing Simon and Garfunkel's "Sound of Silence" and "Mrs. Robinson." This should be delightfully atrocious. Paul: "Who sat up here and thought, I think Jacob, James, Paul, and Alfonso will harmonize really well?" Me: HIS NAME IS NOT ALFONSO. IT'S STEFANO!!!!! And really, who else would you combine from this group? You've got diva-boy, I can't do anything but scream boy, I may or may not be on drugs boy, and I can't believe I'm still here boy. What from that group would make a good combination??"Oh, good. Now we have JacobPaul effeminately clapping. The only one who is suitable to sing Simon and Garfunkel is Paul McDonald. Admit it. I was right. That was delightfully atrocious.

Boy Kieran has dimmed the lights. Paul and Stefano should be in the bottom three. My Paul thinks Alfonso and James are going to the bottom three. He's wrong. James is safe to make me want to jam forks in my ears another week. Stefonso is in the bottom three. Jacob is safe. Paul is in the bottom three. Jacob tells Paul they're roommates for life. Ick.

That's what Chaka Khan looks like? Interesting. Apparently, it's also hot in the Idol studio. Chaka has a fan. Rihanna is singing. She confuses me. I'm not sure why. So anyway, that's over.

Here we go. Bottom three. Haley is safe. That's ok, we'll get her next week. Casey seemed way too happy about that. Paul is out. Congratulations, Craig. And, may I say, in your face Vote for the Worst people. Truth be told, Paul is a musician's musician close to the same caliber as Casey. I know many will disagree but he's not all smarmy and cookie cutter and irritating like, oh say, JacobPaul and Haley. That and he reminds me of Jack Sparrow. It's kind of a bummer to see him go. I would much rather have seen Haley or Jacob get the boot. Ah, well. Maybe next week.