I can't help it.

Ok, so I can't help it. I have to blog it.

J-Lo is yet again, shiny. And so is Steven Tyler.

Randy has no idea what will happen. He's biting his nails about it.

Jenny from the Block hopes a girl does not get eliminated tonight. Marc thought the kiss was a cute moment.

Steven Tyler is going to give Tre, the editor something to worry about.

JacobPaul, Stefano, Lauren and Haley are singing "Hey, Soul Sister." Haley looks like an upside down pumpkin in that get up. This is just ok. It's a little cheesetastic.

I almost missed the Ford commercial. That would be terrible.

Casey, Scotty, and James are singing "Viva La Vida." So help me. Scotty is either not actually singing or has learned to sing unlike a country bumpkin for once in his life. And they're pointing a lot. James keeps pointing at me. Stop pointing at me. That was actually kind of amazing. Also, does anyone else feel that it's weird when the contestants sing behind the judges and the judges just continue to face forward and pretend nothing is happening?

JacobPaul is getting an opportunity to fire back after being called a diva. Uhm. Simply the fact that you're getting an opportunity to "fire back" due to a joke makes you a diva. Who do you think planned this opportunity, pray tell? Most likely JacobPaul, Diva Extraordinair. Also, JacobPaul thinks that the contestants were talking about his notes when they called him a diva. No, dude. No. Music is not referred to as "diva-ish." They were talking about your general persona and your telling America to look themselves in the mirror. Oh, and your blaming your inability to sing on pitch on the fact that you "can't hear." And then your continued inability to sing on pitch when you have not one but two in-ear robot monitors. There's probably other stuff too.

Scotty just said he can't wait to go home. A cupcake was named after him. No word on the tornadoes. Just the cupcake thing. Sheesh.

Casey got a painting of himself and his dog (like a real dog, not THE Dawg) on an acoustic bass. It's from a fan that he can't pronounce the name of.

Casey and Jacob are standing up next to the couches of uncertainty. Ryan is recapping everything, again, and says that Jacob sang "Dance with Me Father." That's the Scottish version of the Luther Vandross original "Dance with MY Father." Oh, and apparently the flub last night that everyone thought was emotion was a problem with the track. See what I mean? Diva. ARGH. Anyway, Casey is safe, thankfully. JacobPaul is in the bottom three. Yeah Baby! To the Tool Stools with you!

And now, David Cook, one of three marginally successful American Idol winners. Dear James Durbin, that's a rocker who is not a psycho. That's what they look like. Try emulating him, not Lamebert. David's Mom just met Steven Tyler. I love David Cook. He's possibly my favorite Idol winner.

The Idol contestants went to a Dodgers game. stupid. I hate the Dodgers and don't really care who knows it. They also went bowling. James is a terrible bowler. They also went to a spa.

Lauren, James, and Stefano are lined up. Stefano is obviously in the bottom three.
Apparently someone from Muse said "Wow. Great job." Sounds fishy. Stefano heads to the Tool Stools and Lauren and James head to the couch of safety.

Pumpkin head and Scotty are up. I HOPE Haley is in the bottom three. But based on performances, it should be Scotty. What is a NEESH, Ryan? It's NICHE. With a "ch" at the end. Scotty is safe. Haley is headed to the Tool Stolls. Scotty may win this whole thing based solely on teenagers.

Ryan sends Haley back to the couch of safety. BAHA! Even her parents were surprised by this news!

Katy Perry is performing. Except that I'm confused by the Kanye of it all. She seems to be channeling Lady Gaga with this crazy. Yep, and it's Kanye. And I'm out because he's a disgusting individual. You know, other people have had better performances before...oh wait, am I interrupting you Kanye?

So it comes down to JacobPaul and Stefano. I really honestly forgot that Stefano was a wildcard contestant. Stefano is out. So close, for JacobPaul. Dear America, please get rid of JacobPaul or Haley next week. James is very torn up about this elimination. Stefano just wants to sing, man. I forgot about him singing this song. I still don't like it. Dude, James is like openly weeping. What is happening? And now he's practically tackled him and spun him around on stage. Something strange is going on.

Next week the Top 6 will sing the songs of Carole King. Looks like Scotty is going down.