So I was totally exhausted last night and went to bed, without watching or voting for American Idol. Let's hope America gets it right this week, for their sake.
I'm also eating cereal as I watch this weeks performances. So the beginning commentary will be limited. Scratch that, I paused it so that I could adequately gather my thoughts.
First off, Jenny from the Block is shiny. Again. Does the woman own ANY clothing that does not allow her to see her own reflection? I mean, really.
Ryan is letting us know that even though they're gone, they're not forgotten and now we "get to" listen to Ashthon, Naima, Karen, Pia, Thia, Paul sing "So What." I enjoy this song. It's at the point where Ashthon begins to impersonate Betty Boop that I pause. Quite honestly, I'm not sure I want to subject my unborn child to this travesty. Luckily, it's teeny tiny at the moment and will most likely be unaffected. Oh, this just gets worse and worse. The girls are all feigning anger and Paul walks out awkwardly wearing the same mariachi suit he had on last week and starts singing the bridge. Pia joins in with some very flat notes (granted, Paul contributed to that), and now Paul is just SAYING the words to the chorus and not even pretending to sing them! I think Paul may have the desire to never be seen or heard from again after being forced to participate in that. What, pray tell, was the purpose of that performance?
It's 21st Century night. So there should be some real gems in the song choice department...
The other contestants are describing each other. Spare me.
Scotty is being ridiculed for how he holds his microphone. Way to jump on that train, Idol. Scotty is going to sing "Swingin'" by Leann Rimes. And he's already smirktastic in rehearsal. Gah. Jimmy says Scotty is doing what he does, because that's what he does. ANNNND he's entering from the stairs. Gah. Ok, based solely on Scotty's facial expressions, I feel like if he was about 30 years older he would be considered a creeper. Paul thinks he's going for the record of most eyebrow lifts in a song. This was strange. Steven Tyler loves everyone involved with that song. Jenny from the Block loves Scotty's storytelling, but she thinks maybe Scotty needs to pull out the big guns. She also thinks he had a whole decade of songs to choose. Randy Yo Dawg: "It was safe, for me for you." Also of note, at first glance I thought Randy Yo Dawg was wearing one of those puffy shirts from Seinfeld and I was really excited. Turns out it's just another awkward old man sweater from the Wardrobe de Dawg.
I was only half listening to Ryan's interview with James but all I really got from it was that James has visions. Which explains a lot. The contestants call James the Rocker and they make fun of his scarf tail. Which is probably my favorite moment of the show tonight. Oh, nevermind, they also make fun of his screaming. THAT'S my favorite moment. James is going to show us for the first time that he can be contemporary. For the first time?? You've been mimicking Adam Lambert the entire season. What, exactly, is the definition of contemporary?? He's going to sing a "Muse" song. Which means zero to me. He's walking in with a drum corp wearing a military inspired costume singing about anarchy from what I can gather. Very contemporary. It's totally different from anything he's ever done before. Oh good, now it's over. Jenny from the Block is saluting him and states that it was theatrically the best performance of the night. Theatrically. Not musically. Randy Yo Dawg loves Muse and thinks James is unbelievable. Steven Tyler: "Mad Max, meets Storm Troopers on Melrose. It was crazy good. You're going in a T-Rex direction." Steven has something red on his cheek. I don't know what.
Haley is up next. Goody. The contestants are pointing out that she waves her arm around, and growls. Stefonso (see previous post) says she's a brat and they have a love-hate relationship. I have a newfound appreciation for Stefonso. She is going to sing Adele's "Rolling in the Deep." How unfortunate for this song. Take it back, I don't hate this. I do hate her dress though. Randy Yo Dawg is looking for what direction the contestants are going to go as an artist. He thinks Haley chose the right song, in spite of a couple of sharp moments. Steven Tyler thought it was great as well. Jenny from the Block thinks she did amazing. I wouldn't say amazing, but I'd say it's my least hated performance of hers so far.
JacobPaul is going to sing Luther Vandross. Sigh.
The contestants are calling him a diva!!!!!!! That's fantastic!!!! He's singing "Dance with my Father." He's crying. This is actually potentially good. There were some really bad, really pitchy moments in that. And no one will address it. Also, there were some really great moments as well. Steven Tyler tells him he heard him lose the track and have a little moment, but he pulled it together and did well. Jenny from the Block says that emotionally it was beautiful. What about MUSICALLY people? Who cares about the emotion??? Randy Yo Dawg tells him he agrees and he wants the old Jacob back. I want any trace of Jacob to leave the show.
Casey is up. The contestants think Casey is weird. They also think he's talented. Uh-duh. He's going to sing "Harder to Breathe" by Maroon 5. Jimmy Iovine is proud of him. Every week I think to myself, "Self, maybe Casey really isn't all that great. Maybe you just hate everyone else so much that you're forcing yourself to like him." But then I watch his performances. And no. He's actually that great. This is a true musician. And he has just enough crazy in this performance, that it's not too overpowering. Who said that James was the only rocker on this season?????? Cause I'm pretty sure that Casey is rockin' this. He even kissed Jenny from the Block. On the cheek, but still. Jenny from the Block: "See now, Casey's not playing fair. Casey got soft lips." Steven: "You did what I been tryin' to do for 4 months." Jenny from the Block: "The performance was great. Good job." Randy Yo Dawg: "I love that it's always about surprise, surprise, surprise. I was worried about the song choice. Continue to take chances. I loved it." Steven Tyler: "expletives." I have no idea what happened. And Ryan is now wearing the Casey beard. That was awesome. I would have voted for at least an hour and a half. Ryan just removed the beard and said "This is what it feels like to be a man?" You said it, not us.
PIRATES! With Penelope Cruz? Bah.
Stefonso is up. Apparently he's a flirt. He's singing "Closer" by something called a Neo? I'm. Nothing. Turns out I've heard this song. I feel like this is a good song for him. I just don't really care for it. Randy Yo Dawg: "Wow. Stefano, Stefano. I thought it was going to be rough, but you turned me around." Steven Tyler: "Good job, man." Jenny from the Block: "You owned the song. I really really liked it."
Lauren has an accent. That's amazing. And she likes to talk. She's singing "Born to Fly" by Sara Evans. Lauren gets intimidated by other people. She's singing well. But she's moving awkwardly. Also, she has an awkward fiddle player boy. Steven Tyler thinks she is so good naturally, but she should sing Allison Krauss, Shania Twain, or Faith Hill. Jenny from the Block thinks she can break out and sing crazy big notes like "everyone" else. See, now, I think that's wrong because "everyone" else is singing big notes that are not on pitch. So if she can sing the big notes and be on pitch, super. Otherwise, don't try it. Randy Yo Dawg: "You can do it!"
Ok, here's the thing. I already know that Stefonso went home. And honestly, my bottom three would have been Stefonso, Scotty, and Haley. I have to go to bed, though so I'm not gonna bother to find out who else was in the bottom three. Also, I'm probably not going to do any blogs on the results, unless there's some crazy antic that happens on the show. So, try to compose yourselves, and until next week, I'm out.
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