Austin, TX. You know what's in TX? The Biggest Stadium in the World. Oh, and also...the Cowboys!
The judges are all present and accounted for, but Ryan is missing. He's here now, and so is Marc Anthony, Jenny from the block's 112th husband.
Corey did not know his sister existed until he was 14 due to "parental differences." His sister encouraged him to sing. They seem strange. Like uber brother and sister-y. A little romantic-y. Anyway, Corey brings his sister in to judge him too. He sings "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt. He's kinda singing it to his "sister." It's ok. Really loud. He's in.
Hollie is singing "At Last." She totally changed the tune wayyyyy too much. Randy Yo Dawg says no. Hollie starts crying. Jenny from the block wants to know if she can compose herself to sing another song. What is with this second chance nonsense? Come with your game face or don't come at all! We have to wait for commercials to see if she survives.
She sings some song about moving a mountain and she makes it. Randy Yo Dawg even waffles and gives her a yes. BTW, the song was "The Climb." Blech.
Montage of crying.
Rodolfo Ochoa is singing "Circle of Life." Badly. It's terribly. It's drawn out. If I didn't already have a headache, I would have one after listening to him. It's a no.
Montage of cowboys. Not Cowboys, but cowboys.
John Wayne Schulz is auditioning. Ryan asks his parents why they named him John Wayne. Mom: "He (Dad) wanted a son that was rough and tough." Ryan: "Boy, that would have sucked if I was your son, huh?" (laughter) Dad: "You wouldn't be the way you are now, my friend." (louder laughter). Love it.
Anywho, John Wayne is auditioning. He works on a ranch. His family has been ranching since 1857. He loves his family. His Mom told him to try out for American Idol when she had breast cancer. He's singing "Believe" by Brooks and Dunn. His Mom is lovely. She's got those giant photo buttons on her shirt. And she is crying while she listens to him. His voice is nice. It's not the best I've ever heard, but it's also not the worst. All the judges like him. He's in.
Day 2.
Courtney Penry is delusional. She finds Ryan Seacrest attractive. She also thinks he likes girls. She's auditioning. She tells Jenny from the Block she's beautiful. Randy Yo Dawg says thank you, and she tells Randy he's beautiful as well. Then she starts making eyes at Steven Tyler. Randy Yo Dawg wants to know if there's anything interesting they should know about her. You mean, besides the fact that she's delusional? Why yes, she can "do a chicken" which apparently means impersonate a chicken. Can you impersonate something that is not a person? She does a chicken and it's dumb. Now she's singing "Stay" by Sugarland, it's weird. A little weak. She does this weird shaking hands thing. Randy says no, the other two say yes, so she's in.
Shauntel Campos, Alex Carr, Caleb Johnson are all in.
Some other people are in. Apparently a lot of people are in.
Jacqueline Dunford and Nick Fink are dating. They are creeptastic. She sings first. She's singing "Mercy" it's loud and ok. Nick is singing some song, I can't think of what it is. They both changed the songs a little bit. They both were ok. They are weird. They remind me of like the annoying couple in high school that were constantly all over each other and being all mushy. It's creepy.
They're both in.
Janelle Arthur is defending country. Don't have to tell me, sweetheart. She's singing a song I've never heard. I love her voice. I enjoy her. She's in.
Montage of horrid. Including an armadillo. Apparently Randy Yo Dawg was not having it.
The armadillo turned out to be a girl and, they don't show her singing, but she gets a no. So as she's leaving she goes, "Well, I'll just be alone the rest of my life." Uh, honey? I'm thinkin' maybe that was going to happen BEFORE you auditioned for Idol. Just a hunch.
Casey Abrams is from Idyllwild, CA. He plays the melodica. Which I want to find. Because that would be fun. Anyway, he says people tell him he looks like Seth Rogen and the producer tells him he was thinking "Fraggle Rock." He's singing "I Don't Need No Doctor," by Ray Charles. He gets his note from the melodica and away he goes. Ok. I assumed he would be terrible, because, well, he looks like he wouldn't be able to sing. But I was wrong. I will sit here with my sore neck and shoulder and admit 100% that I WAS WRONG. He is amazing. Scatting. Grooving. It's awesome. And he is surprised. Holy cow. I feel like he should have auditioned in LA though.
That's what's up next, by the way. LA.
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