Thursday, May 3, 2012

British American Idol

This week the contestants will sing British songs. Why, you may ask? Because American musicians for the most part are terrible. Seriously though, the best part about this week is that there can be no Lady Gaga or Katy Perry songs. The worst part is that Adele is from Britain. Blast! as the Brits would say. I can't believe there are only 5 kidlets left. Oh, the contestants are also going to sing 60's music. That'll be wonderful. Steven Van Zant (guitarist for Bruce Springsteen and the E Street band) is the mentor. He was also in "The Sopranos." He seems scary. Hollie is first. She's singing "River Deep, Mountain High" for her 60's song. Steven Van Zant (affectionately called Stevey Z) says not to try to please people. I do not hate this in the least. But that could just be because I'm diggin' the horn section on this song. I'll tell you what I DO hate is Hollie's choice in earrings. Those are terrible. But that performance was not terrible. It wasn't my favorite thing in the world, and I'm not ready to go all crazy and say she is the "best vocalist," but it was good. Steven Tyler: "It was the first time I've ever heard you use your blues. I knew you had it in you, thank You Lord." Jenny from the Block: "It was nice to see you surrounded by a bigger production, you bit the second verse, it was a different type of Hollie, I could feel you." Randy Yo Dawg: "You guys both loved it, right? I loved it too! You gotta do it like there's nobody watchin'." Hollie is settling in. Better late than never I suppose. Phillip is singing "The Letter" by The Boxtops. Stevey Z tells Phillip to keep being different and tells Jimmy to leave him alone because "he's good and this isn't a Miss America pageant." I love this. I know a lot of people aren't going to enjoy it. But I would urge those people to think outside the box (like Taco Bell) and see originality as something to be appreciated instead of something to think is "weird" or "strange." Randy Yo Dawg: "Bunch of discussion, Box Tops, you made it new for me in your own way and I loved it." He actually said a lot more than just that but it was rambly and convoluted. Jenny from the Block: "I don't know the original song, so I don't know what I'm talking about. You're a dynamic performer." Steven Tyler: "Good news, bad news. Bad news: I miss the melody. Good news: You get away with it. Like the Stones. You wave your freak flag." Randy Yo Dawg: "At least he strives to be original." Me: "Word!" Phillip Phillips has a girlfriend. Which Ryan Seacrest is pleased about. Skylar was going to sing "Knock on Wood" and Stevey Z said nope. She's doing CCR "Fortunate Son." Paul is excited. That was decent. Paul is shrugging. I'm worried about her. Jenny from the Block: "How you feelin'? I think they have to hold you back backstage. You make the crowd go crazy. It's natural for you." Steven Tyler: "You love music and music loves you. I like when you boot scoot. It was fabulous, even your dress. I love it. I love it." Randy Yo Dawg: "One of the greatest bands in the history of music, Creedence Clearwater, Fogerty and the boys, amazing, I mean, amazing. You were so comfortable, so in your element. You like to do this the best, don't you?" Skylar: "Yes sir." Randy Yo Dawg: "You should call me sir, Ryan." Ryan Seacrest: "I didn't realize you were 90." I'm very excited for the new MIB movie. Joshua and Philip are going to do a duet. They are singing "You've Lost that Lovin' Feeling." Is this weird to anyone but me? Are they singing to each other? Are they singing to the world as a whole? I will say, the bridge was amazing. Bebica is singing "Proud Mary." Why do I always feel like I'm watching karaoke when she sings? I feel like she has been in a lot of karaoke bars. Paul hates people who impersonate Tina Turner. And he hates the Tina Turner version of a CCR song. So he really loved that performance. Jenny from the Block: "You're so grown up there. I thought we would be missing the Janis Joplin-y because Elise was gone. You were a little bit of Tina, a little bit of Beyonce. I forget that you're 16." Steven Tyler: "You started off slow and you brought it up, it was great. I heard the blues. Ike and Tina Turner!" Randy Yo Dawg: "Ike and Tina Turner, Ike and Tina Turner. This performance was oooookaaaay for me, you took on the biggest dragon of the night. The thing that pulled it out for me was your voice. Tina Turner sweated the stage." Jenny from the Block: "You can't compare a 16 year old to Tina Turner." Me: "Then perhaps she should not have done the Tina Turner version of that song." Also of note? Tina Turner didn't perform that song in the 60's. CCR did. Joshua is next and he is singing "Ain't Too Proud to Beg." Perfect. The background singers are getting their workout this evening. Paul is trying to emulate them. And I am dying laughing. This is, as expected, a fantastic performance. Steven Tyler: "You gotta be one of the top two idols of all time. It was hard to concentrate with background singers that pretty. You're such a talent." Me: "Who is the other one?" Jenny from the Block: "You're like a throwback from another era. You're sick. I don't know what to say to you." Randy Yo Dawg: " There was a guy from England named Terrence Trent Darby, you could bring R&B back, because it's been missing from our musical landscape for a minute." Me: "It has?" Ryan wants to know what kind of flower that is that Joshua is wearing. He says he thinks it's a tulip. Ryan is an idiot. Randy says Hollie, Skylar and Joshua have won round 1. Jenny from the Block says Joshua and Skylar. Steven Tyler says Joshua, Skylar....and Hollie. Randy and Steven Tyler are on drugs. I say Joshua won round 1 by a mile. And now we will be crossing the pond. OMGravy! Carrie Underwood AND Coldplay will be on tomorrow night's show. That's fantastic. The only way it would be more fantastic would be if Bebica or Hollie got voted off. Hollie is going to sing "Bleeding Love." I knew somebody would sing Leona Lewis. This song is great. It always reminds me of an amazing SYTYCD routine. That was actually really good. I wish that she had gone up to the high notes like the original, but it was really good. She has started to redeem herself. I would prefer Bebica to go home over her. Steven Tyler: "I loved it. You nailed it, and I don't know that song." Jenny from the Block: "Stevey Z gave you good advice to sing to one person. It was intimate and you surprised yourself." Randy Yo Dawg: " Uh, Steven, let me give you the history of this song with what I like to call NameDrop 101: This was a big song written by Ryan Tenor from One Republic, huge hit for Leona Lewis, she came from another talent show by our lovely friend Mr. Simon Cowell. I was taken back to last season when she didn't make it. You've been the dark horse and you're peaking at the right time." I personally think she may be too late. But regardless, it was a really good performance. Phillip is singing "Time of the Season." That was fine. I prefer when he thinks outside the box, but this was probably a safe move on his part. I ate a snack while the judges talked, so I don't know exactly what they said. They liked it though. The girlies did a trio of "Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher." It was strange. Skylar is singing "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" by Dusty Springfield. Huh. That had the potential for greatness but it was a little underwhelming for me for you. Randy Yo Dawg: "You are definitely peaking at the right time. Every time you get up, I believe you." Jenny from the Block: "You wanna win don't you? You just might. You know how to make it work." Steven Tyler: "Just more proof that it works when you work it. That was right that she was over here in the first British Invasion she was the first girl over here along with the Beatles, the Stones, the Animals, the Kinks." Me: "The namedropping is spreading!!! It's an epidemic!" Bebica is singing "You are so Beautiful" by Joe Cocker. Wow that was an incredible performance. And wow, her makeup is caked on. Steven Tyler: "You once again showed America just how beautiful your voice is. You're gonna be number 1, girl." Jenny from the Block: "How could we have let this girl go home? It reminded me of when you sang "I Will Always Love You." You captivated us." Randy Yo Dawg: "Round 1 I was sayin' whateverwhateverwhatever. Round 2? You're in the top of the leader board. Those that want to be singers and people that don't know, wanna know or do know (so everyone), the way you hold a straight note and then bring the vibrato at the end and it's so even. So good, so good, so good." Me: "So, you liked it Randy Yo Dawg?" Joshua is singing "To Love Somebody" by the BeeGees. This is an amazing performance again. The judges are up. That was seriously great. Randy Yo Dawg: "Wow. Let's give a big shoutout to Robin Gibb who's sick. The fact that you'd never heard it and you did THAT to it? That's what it's really ALL about. Your experience is beyond your age. You're one of the best singers ever on this show. No matter what goes down." Jenny from the Block: "There's so few people who can perform that way, that can bring so much passion and still have the voice. I think you're one of the greatest singers in....50's crazy, baby. Crazy!" Steven Tyler: "I can't say much more than they've already said. But I'll ramble on and on. And on." So there you have it. It gets difficult at this stage to figure out who the bottom three will be because there are usually a lot of good people. But my predictions based on tonight and past experience would be that...... Hollie will be in the bottom three. Phillip will be safe. Skylar will be in the bottom three. Bebica will be in the bottom three. Joshua will be safe. Going home: Hollie. I just don't think she saved herself fast enough.

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