We Will...Try To...ROCK YOU! ROCK YOU!

My blog has a new set-up. I hate change. The format is all weird now. Strange. The contestants are going to sing the songs of Queen. This should be a phenomenal disaster. Randy Yo Dawg has a button that says "Yo!" Awesome. Jenny from the Block looks like a Hispanic Princess Leia all decked out in gold. And Steven Tyler, true to form, is wearing sparkles. Just all over sparkles. Brian May and Roger Taylor (people from Queen) are mentoring the contestants. That's kind of neat. Hollie has just realized that she doesn't perform well. Welcome to reality, Hollie. The Top 6 are singing a medley of Queen songs accompanied by May and Taylor. What are these fools gonna sing if they sing all the songs now? The standouts in this mashup are Skylar (shocking, actually!), Elise (no surprise there), and Joshua (also not a surprise). I would also like to take this opportunity to say that Paul loves Queen. He is currently singing along with "We are the Champions." But really, who DOESN'T love Queen? So many iconic songs...poor Freddie Mercury. Anyway, that was neat, but I have no idea what the contestants are supposed to sing now. Bebica Sanchez is up first. She is going to be an idiot and sing "Bohemian Rhapsody." She knows she has to cut the song down to 90 seconds, right? So she opts for the epic beginning, and then the epic ending, ignoring the meat and potatoes part of the song. I hated that. Hated, hated, hated it. That was THE stupidest song choice of the night and this is the first song. She sang it fine, I suppose, but it's just really ridiculous to take this song and try to chop it into 90 seconds. I mean, really, watch the video and then tell me that was a perfectly acceptable arrangement. Steven Tyler: "Freddie Mercury would be proud to hear that." Me: "No. Freddie Mercury would say, "what happened to the rest of my song???"" Jenny from the Block: "You have on sneakers. You must run when you wear sneakers." Randy Yo Dawg: "You need to channel Tina Turner when you do rock songs, but you can do rock songs." Namedrop: 1 Skylar Laine is up next. She writes songs. Alrighty. She's singing "The Show Must Go On." I have never heard this song. So I don't have a frame of reference. But I do love this performance. She has a fantastic voice and is a fantastic performer, which is what American Idol is supposed to produce. I would also like to add, the string section is on stage and I do not see the vampire stalker guy from last week. Skylar must have staked him. Steven Tyler: "It was over the top. It was fabulous." Jenny from the Block: "I definitely really got goosies during that song, the word that comes to mind, and a bunch of other stuff that is not related to the word that comes to mind, and then it was powerful. Powerful." Me: "So...what was the word?" Randy Yo Dawg: "I think it's one of your best performances to date. She's gotta have it Ryan!" Me: "I prefer in it to win it. Gotta have it reminds me of Coldstone." Ryan thinks he can play piano. No Ryan, it's not that easy. Joshua is singing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love." This is a Queen song? I feel like this is a really safe choice for Joshua. He could have done a better song. This was a fine performance, but I don't think it was the right song. Clearly, the judges disagree with me. Randy Yo Dawg: "Yo, that was unbelievable. We stood up. 4 checks. You remind me of Sam Cooke, Wilson Pickett, Davey." Name drop: 4 Jenny from the Block: "The Joshua part of the show is my favorite part of the show. I know I'm going to get an inspired vocal and a great performance." Steven Tyler: "You have a classic style that sounds like nobody else." Me: "If it's classic, it has to sound like something that has already happened, no?" Also, Steven Tyler seems to be channeling Freddie Mercury from the Great Beyond, with all of his references to how Freddie would feel about the contestants tonight. Elise is singing "I Want it All." This is the perfect week for Elise. That was awesome. Steven Tyler: "That was over the top. You sang it exactly right." Jenny from the Block: "The whole thing came together for you." Randy Yo Dawg: "Who would've thunk it? What a great night! That style of song is so right for you, it allows you to do your Janis thing, one of your best performances to date." Namedrop: 5 Phillip is singing "Fat Bottomed Girls." I called this last night. This is THE best song choice of the night. Absolutely, 100% correct song choice for him. His old man shuffle freaks Paul out. That was super fun and really good. Steven Tyler: "Inappropriate comment about fat bottomed girls while addressing Jenny from the Block. I love watching you sing, I love watching you run out of breath. It was great, beautiful." Jenny from the Block: "I love so many things about you. You give us so many flavors, even though you sing songs and they sound the same and they're yours, but we see a different side of you." Me: "Jenny from the Block has no idea what she just said." Randy Yo Dawg: "Uh, Yo, I wasn't jumping up and down, but it was good." Hollie is singing "Save Me." I have never heard this song. Hollie is wearing a pantsuit. A satin pantsuit. This is boring. Also, she's begging everyone to save her. This is seriously a safe and boring performance. Blah. She should be done this week. Steven Tyler: "I love the way you sing a Queen song, which is old fashioned with a real strong melody which I miss." Jenny from the Block: "You got emotional. Right?" Hollie: "I just learned it. So then I learned it. And then I learned it and connected with it when I learned it." Jenny from the Block: "Yeah, you went off a little when you got emotional. You were thinking again." Except she didn't say it that concisely. Randy Yo Dawg: "You didn't have a moment in that song for me for you." FOR ME FOR YOU!!!! Ahhhh, memories. Hollie has also just realized she can't just keep being "good" or "okay" she needs to be great. She is just learning so much! The judges say Skylar won round 1. I would agree with that. Bebica chose to sing "Dance with my Father." Her Dad is in the military. So that's awesome. The contestants had to describe Jessica, and Phillip is hilarious. That was a really beautiful performance. Jenny from the Block: "Luther Vandross is one of my favorite singers. That may have been the best I've ever heard that song sang. The feeling and vocal ability was amazing." Steven Tyler: "I don't think you can sing a song bad. Your voice is so different than anybody else's. But it's kind of like Whitney." Randy Yo Dawg: "Yo, I think all of you are ready to jump on the charts. You are truly amazing, you are natural. There is nothing wrong about the way you sing." Skylar chose to sing, I have no idea what she is singing. It was pretty good. Randy Yo Dawg: "I'm a ginormous fan. That's bigger than giant." Jenny from the Block: "You're comfortable up there." Steven Tyler: "Find songs that take your voice to that place." I was just kind of ambivalent about that performance, really. I mean it was good, but there was not a standout moment for me for you. :) Skylar has a feather tattoo on her wrist that represents to her that her problems are as light as a feather because God holds them for her. That sounds a lot like Matthew 11:28-32. Awesome! Joshua chose to sing, why won't they tell us what these people are singing? That's annoying. His voice is ridiculous. He has such rang to his voice and such control. It's beautiful. The judges are up again, but this time they have good reason. Randy Yo Dawg: "I'm speechless. But I'm going to ramble on and on about you." Jenny from the Block: "I don't know what to say either. That was transcendent." Steven Tyler: "I'm snapped into reality by the way you sing, but then I go out of reality and go somewhere else." Elise is up next. I have no idea what she's singing either. But there are a lot of lyrics involved. That was a strange song. Steven Tyler: "I love the Janis Joplin about you, I always have. And I love Jimi Hendrix, but you have to sing song's people know. You can't pick cherries with your back to the tree." Me: "Where do I start? a) Steven Tyler seems to be doing some namedropping this evening. b) Now I know why the song was strange (because it's Jimi Hendrix) c) Steven Tyler is also waxing poetic." Jenny from the Block: "You slayed that song so hard, it doesn't matter that people don't know it." Randy Yo Dawg: "I'm a fan of Hendrix and of you, but I felt like it was the wrong song for you. You made it too complicated. I can only understand simple melodies. Like Journey songs." Phillip is next. I don't know what he's singing either. I have a question. Where do they find these relatively attractive female musicians to play with Phillip every week? It's strange. I like this song, I don't know what it is, but I like it. Steven Tyler: "Off the wall. Very Phillip Phillips." Jenny from the Block: "It was a pretty song, but it was too obscure and artsy." Me: "So it wasn't cookie cutter and boring. Like Bebica." Randy Yo Dawg: "I disagree. I thought it was great." Me: "I agree with Randy." Hollie is next. She is very sensitive about her accent. She's singing Miley Cyrus "The Climb." I hope she goes home. It was fine. But it was so BORING and SAFE. Do something innovat....WHY ARE THE JUDGES STANDING? That was such a boring performance!!!! Randy Yo Dawg: "Hollie is back!" Jenny from the Block: "That's what we wanted." Steven Tyler: "You sing a song like it's going out of style." Hollie thinks that song has powerful lyrics and a strong meaning. But the judges don't want innovative song selections like Phillip does week after week. Sigh. So frustrating. Bottom three should be: Bebica Sanchez, Hollie Cavanagh and probably Elise Testone. Going home: honestly, any of the three of them could be done. But I hope it's Hollie. Then next week, get rid of Bebica. Then I'm happy with any of the rest of them winning. The judges think they need to explain to us the voting system. We know. We're not idiots. Well, most of us aren't.