Tommy Hilfiger is still meddling with the contestants. I find him strange.
They will be singing songs from their respective idols. They will also be performing in trios. Huh?
Also, Stevie Nicks will be mentoring them this week.
Colton is singing a LifeHouse song. And he says it's a worship song. But then Stevie tells him that the lyrics are what every woman wants to hear someone sing to them, so....I'm doubting that the "worship" message comes across. Anyway, Colton is doing the same ol' same ol' with the long drawn out notes, the slight oversinging, and the rockstar moves. Here's my problem with calling it a worship song. Not one time in that entire song did it mention Jesus or God or anything remotely theological. Granted, there are plenty of songs done in churches that are also barely theological and are more "fluff" songs. But that's a whole other discussion. My point here is, he can claim it's a worship song because LifeHouse is a "Christian" band. HOWEVER, nearly all of LifeHouse's major hits have also been crossovers into the secular music industry. And while this is not a bad thing per se, (see Switchfoot), it doesn't necessarily mean the songs are theological mantras on which to hang one's Christianity. For all the teeny-boppers know Colton is singing to them as he sings the lyrics, "Cause, you're all I want, you're all I need, you're everything, you're everything." Aside from his poor usage of the word "worship," it was a fairly boring performance. Steven Tyler: "You're a dream come true for a judge on Idol, you sing a song like it should be song, you have perfect pitch and you've got that star quality." Jenny from the Block: "What a way to start the show! It was so emotional. I was moved." Randy Yo Dawg: "The white coat is fly, man, I love it. I've been a fan since we met you a season ago. I believe you in every song you sing. I could see you doing Switchfoot (namedrop: 1), you just lay it all out there." My other problem is that now that he has said that American Idol is anti Christianity, none of the judges will critique him, even if he doesn't blatantly scream Christianity.
Skylar is singing Miranda Lambert. Good idea. She's singing "Gunpowder and Lead." Also a good idea. She got to sing with Stevie Nicks. Good idea. Did she just miss the lyrics? That was weird. Overall, it was a good performance. A little karaoke. Which no one will mention because Simon isn't here. Jenny from the Block: "The Skylar part of the show is like unbridled energy. You won us over when you sang it in the auditions, and you won them over now." Steven Tyler: "That was over the top. It was like you were singing to an old friend. That was beautiful, good for you." Randy Yo Dawg: "Miranda, Carrie Underwood, Reba, you have energy and you have range. Carrie Underwood." Name drop: 4.
Do we really need to see Titanic in 3-D? I mean, come on. The boat sinks. Leo freezes. We got it.
Colton, Elise, and Philip are singing a trio. I just don't understand why this is happening. They're singing "Landslide." I just am very confused. Just kidding, they're not singing "Landslide," they're singing a medley of strange songs. Now Philip is singing so it's awesome now. That was strange.
Heejun is singing "A Song for You." Apparently, he is now taking American Idol seriously. Which Steven will be happy about. He's having trouble with the accent on this song. But he has a really nice tone to his voice, so it's not unpleasant to listen to. Frankly though, Paul is asleep on the couch listening to this and I'm not begrudging him that. This is a snoooooooooooze fest. All three judges are up on their feet. This is an alternate universe that I live in. Steven Tyler: "You turned it around. I don't think you know how good you are. You keep believin' in yourself." Jenny from the Block: "You don't make it this far by mistake. He is here because we know he can sing this way. When you let go of all the other stuff, when you connect, you move people." Randy Yo Dawg: "What I love, you're here because you're a great singer, you have a buttery tone, finally the Heejun that we selected has come back to us."
Jason Derulo is channeling his inner Bionic Man, complete with a blinged out neck brace. And he wants me to help him write a song. No thanks.
Hollie is singing "Jesus Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood. Oh, so Hollie is totally ignoring all of the judges instructions to stay away from monumental songs by monumental singers. Good move. I hate this arrangement. They cut lyrics and chopped verses in half to fit the "big moments" into a 90 second performance. That's annoying. But her voice is decent. Not even close to as good as Carrie's original, but it was decent. It was just a'ight for me for you. Randy Yo Dawg: "I didn't know you were such a Carrie fan. It's always dangerous taking on a big song from a past Idol winner and such. There were some not perfect moments especially in the lower register. Carrie Underwood." Namedrop: 5 Jenny from the Block: "I disagree with Randy because to me, that was one of your best. We've heard her sing the big notes, it doesn't matter about that stuff, it matters about your heart." Me: "While I agree that heart does matter in a performance, being able to sing on pitch consistently helps too. I know people that can't carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it to save their own lives, and even if they sang it with all the heart they could manage, it still would be painful to hear." Steven Tyler: "I'm going to get in the middle of you both, which I've been trying to do for a long time." Me: "I don't even want to try and figure out what he means by that." Steven Tyler: "I'm not going to mess with Jesus and/or Carrie. I loved your emotion, I felt it. I wish you had sang a different song. It was just ok for me."
DeAndre Makemesick is probably singing a song by a female. Oh, nope. He's singing a song by Eric Benet, which is just as bad. Jimmy tells him not to try to over compensate. Again. The falsetto is just so irritating. There is a lyric that says, "I'll just have to fake it until I can make it." To that I say, you should probably just go ahead and give up. Also, he's going to have a tough time continuing his music career once he hits puberty and his voice drops. WHAT? The judges are on their feet. I must be deaf. Or they must be deaf. Someone in this party is not able to hear properly. Steven Tyler: "You're passionate." Me: "He's passionately bad." Jenny from the Block: "You have a unique voice. It's something you don't hear everyday." Me: "You don't hear it because it's terrible." Randy Yo Dawg: "Every color of the rainbow. Prince. Eric Benet. You're back." Namedrop: 7. Me: "Please do not vote for this fool."
DeAndre is promising that it is falsetto time. Wonderful.
Jessica Sanchez is singing a Beyonce song. She turned this song into a ballad. Which is convenient for her vibrato lovin' self. She didn't do the thing that Stevie told her to do. Jenny from the Block: "Beyonce should do that. It was gorgeous and beautiful and left us wanting more." Steven Tyler: "Great performance. Beautiful dress. You're a star no matter what." Randy Yo Dawg: I don't know what he said. I got distracted.
Jessica Sanchez has an alter ego named Beebee Chez. Okie doke.
A Michael Jackson medley. DeAndre, Heejun, and Joshua. Have we not done the Michael Jackson bit to death? No pun intended. Anyway, it's as awkward as I would have expected. Except for this little bit with Joshua moon-walking.
I still don't know why we are doing trios. I demand an explanation.
Philip Philips is singing a song by a blues guy I've never heard of. Stevie Nicks says he would have been in Fleetwood Mac if he had been alive then. Heck yes he would. This is rockin’ as suspected. The guy on the Hammond B3 organ is amazing. I want to play a Hammond B3 organ. Too bad I am not that amazing. The judges are up. This time I know why. Jenny from the Block: “We’re standing up too much, it’s crazy. When you sing, I feel that you want us to experience the music.” Steven Tyler: “You own music. There’s someone in you trying to climb out.” Me: “Huh?” Randy Yo Dawg: “I’m a big Johnny Lange fan, he’s a friend, this competition has every flavor. I love you. “ Namedrop: 6
Dionne Warwick and Jordin Sparks are in the audience. Jordin is next to Broken Neck Bling Jason.
Joshua is killing me slowly by singing a Mariah Song. Oy vey. However, he is killin’ it. He even killed it so hard he started to cry. That was a really good performance. The judges are up again. This may be the record for standing ovations. Randy Yo Dawg: “Yesterday was Mariah’s birthday. She would be proud of you. When you have a voice that big, you have to sing big songs. That was flawless.” Namedrop: 7. Steven Tyler: “Everybody has been pushing themselves beyond their own limits. You pushed yourself so far, you had an emotional breakdown. I want to see that.” Jenny from the Block: “You’re a phenom. You are an angel from Heaven, that voice is God-sent. So beautiful. When you show your heart, it’s amazing.”
Third Trio. Madonna songs. Hollie, Skylar, and Jessica. Oh boy. That was silly.
Elise is up last. She’s singing “Whole Lotta Love” by Led Zeppelin. She is tearin’ this UP! WOW! That was SICK! Steven Tyler: “I wasn’t sure you could pull that off. Nice!” Jenny from the Block: “That was some real rock star stuff.” Randy Yo Dawg: “Everybody wants to win! What is going on!?” Me: “Well, that is the whole point, is it not?”
Steven and Elise are wearing the same pants. That’s embarrassing for one of them. I can’t decide which one.
Here are my favorites of the night:
Phillip Phillips
Skylar Laine
Elise Testone
Joshua Ledet
Bottom Three SHOULD be:
DeAndre Makemesick
Heejun Han
Hollie Cavanagh
Going home:
DeAndre Makemesick
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