Tuesday, October 18, 2011

This May End in a Fit of Rage

I only say this because I have an overall negative sense about this show. Terrible injustice tends to happen at least once, and so far, it hasn't happened this time. So it stands to reason that someone who should DEFINITELY stay will go home and someone who should DEFINITELY be eliminated will continue on. And thus, the fit of rage.

Steve JonesnotJobs is telling me for the 917th time what the categories are, where each category went, and who their mentor was. I just don't understand. Does he think we have not been watching prior to this? Doubtful.

We're going to find out the fates of all these acts. Today. Right. Now.

Tora and Simone are going to find out their fate first. Simone should not go through. I repeat, Simone should not go through. I could honestly go either way with Tora. She is intriguing, but I'm not 100% that she is actually talented.

Simon tells Tora she is great, but she's in the toughest category. She didn't make it.

Simon tells Simone he's concerned about her forgetting the lyrics, because if she does that on the live show it's catastrophic. Also, he calls her SimonE. Hahah. She's in. Not hahah. The rage is starting.

Drew is going to find out now. She's the Justin Bieber lover. I vote no. Simply based on who else is in this category. She's in. So two spots have been taken. And neither is filled with Rachel or Melanie. We're at rage level 3.

We're moving on to the over 30's now. Josh Burrito, to be specific. If he doesn't get in, there is a serious problem. Nicole is sitting like Pocahontas on the couch. Very strange. He's through to the live shows. Rage level 2.5.

She seriously looks like Pocahontas.

Dexter, James, and Christa are going to find out their fates.

Christa is wearing a baby in a lilypad on her head. And picking weeds from the ground.

James points out that there are jobs and dreams. He would rather live his dream, but he knows he has to support his family. I sorta kinda want him to make it. But it won't change my rage level if he doesn't.

Dexter is totally crazy and out of it. He should not go through simply on the fact that he needs some sort of help.

Pocahontas tells Christa there is room for her to grow. She is not sure whether James is the solo artist that she is looking for. She knows Dexter has a huge energy and a good voice, but he's hit or miss. Christa is a no. That's fine. She really needs waterproof mascara/eyeliner. James is a no. That's a little ridiculous. It will be a lot ridiculous if Dexter makes it. Dexter made it. Rage level 3.5. This is craziness. Literally, craziness. They need to get a mental health professional on staff immediately because when he gets eliminated, he's going to LOSE it. And he just jumped in Pocahontas' swimming pool. No, he's not crazy at all.

The groups are waiting to hear their fates. 2 Squared, Brewer Boys, and Illusion Confusion are up first. Brewer Boys should be the ONLY ones that make it through.

Paula tells Illusion Confusion they lacked energy. 2 Squared had good harmonies? Brewer Boys may not connect with the audience. Illusion Confusion is out. Good move, Paula. 2 Squared is out. Good move again, Paula. Brewer Boys are in to the live shows. Finally, a judge that got it right. Who would've thought it would be Paula?

4 Shore is actually decent, so I'd be ok if they went through. However, they are not going through. That's actually surprising.

The boys are up. Brian Bradley is first. I do not like him, Sam I Am. I think he is full of ham. But that won't matter because L.A. sees $$$$$$ so he's through. Also, in the words of one of my favorite AI auditions EVER. "Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground!" Pull your pants up, kid. Rage level 4.

Nick Voss, Philip Lomax, Brennin Cullen, and Skyelor Anderson are going to find out now. Based solely on the fact that I'm thoroughly annoyed already, I'm going to say Brennin will make it.

L.A. is not sure Nick has his own identity. He thinks Skyelor limits himself by singing specifically country. He finds Brennin's voice amazing and thinks he's a star, but he thinks he's turbulent. He thinks Philip needs more time to not be Sinatra. Nick is out. That's fine. Skyelor is out. That's a bummer. But not rage worthy. Hallelujah, thine the glory, Brennin the vampire wannabe is out. Philip, somehow, is through to the live show. Even he is shocked. He's going to be like Stefano and hang on through entirely too many rounds. I can just feel it.

Apparently, by purchasing a Pepsi product, I could go to a live taping. I'm ok, thanks.

Jazzlyn Little is up. She's still claiming to be shy. Simon says she had grit, but it got polished. He also says he likes her. Jazzlyn didn't make it. Wow. I did not really see that coming. I thought for sure the rage level would be increasing.

Tiger and Leroy are about to find out. Oh good gravy. I want them both to make it. Pocahontas is having a hard time. She tells Leroy he has a really beautiful voice and is amazingly talented. She tells Tiger he has grown through the process. She is concerned that Leroy doesn't want it enough. WHAT? She doesn't always connect with Tiger. Tiger is out. That's sad. Rage level 5. Leroy is through to the next round. Hooray! Rage level back to 4.5. I'm still mad about Tiger.

Chris Rene is about to find out his fate. I want him to make it so bad! They really need to quit playing "Fix You" every time they talk about/with Chris. L.A. is concerned that Chris can't be consistent. But he's willing to take a shot! Chris is on L.A.'s team! He's through! Rage level 4. Still mad about Tiger.

Groups are up. The mutt groups are going to find out their fates. If one of them has to make it, it should be Intensity. Paula tells Lakoda Rayne says they have an off energy. She says Intensity needs to work on blending. Paula is drinking from the Crazee Cup again. She put Lakoda Rayne through. She also put Intensity through. So maybe she's not drinking TOO much.

Back to the girls. Tiah and Caitlin are up. I feel that my rage level is going to increase. I want Caitlin to go through over Tiah. Simon wants to know if Tiah thinks she did her best. Simon is admitting that Tiah has pitch issues. This is good news. Simon thinks Caitlin was awesome from the beginning and loves her. He wants to know what Tiah thinks has gone wrong. Caitlin is out. That's dumb. Rage level is creeping up, unless of course, he doesn't put Tiah through either. Which he does not do of course. Rage level is at 5 again. Tiah is through. That means either Melanie or Rachel is not in Simon's 4. This is lame sauce.

There is one spot left in each category.

Boys are up. It's either Marcus Canty or Tim Cifers. I'm ambivalent about it. L.A. Reid loves Tim's voice and thinks Marcus was really good. Rihanna found Tim's humility to be endearing. L.A. is not sure how Marcus fits in the music industry. He appreciates that Tim is doing this for his family. Tim is out. Bummer. I guess. Marcus is in. Whatever.

The Anser to the Question No One Asked has promise rings. To each other? Yeah, they're strange. Stereo Hoggz are the other option. Given this situation, I choose Stereo Hoggz. They are lookin' FLYYYYY! Paula calls the boys that don't sing out on the fact that they don't sing as good as the lead guy. She also tells the Anser that they don't blend well. I love Paula. She is probably going to be my favorite judge if Simon doesn't get it together. The answer for The Anser is No. And the girls are devastated. The Stereo Hoggz are through and they're trying to eat Paula. Now they're swimming in her pool.

The last two contestants in the over 30s group are Elaine Gibbs and Stacy Francis. It should be Elaine Gibbs without a single solitary doubt. Rage level will increase drastically if this does not go well. Pocahontas lets Elaine know she is one of the most talented singers she's ever heard. She tells Stacy she has an amazing voice. She tells Elaine she needs to have charisma and personality to command the stage. She must have missed all of Elaine's performances so far. She tells Stacy the music industry is hard and she's not sure she can handle it. Elaine is out. Nicole IS dumber than a bag of bricks. I've given her way too much credit. That means that Stacy is through to the next round. Rage level has jumped to a 6.8.

The last spot for the girls is between Melanie (mah gurl) and Rachel (who is also awesome). So I basically am going to hate either decision. Simon tells Melanie he likes her voice and she has a good affect on the audience. Simon tells Rachel he was surprised at how good the other contestants were. He is telling both of them that his decision has been really difficult and is shocking. Melanie is out. Rage level 10. Rachel is in. Which is all well and good and everything, but seriously???? SimonE made it and Melanie didn't. This is WORSE than Chris Medina on American Idol. For real, worse. And yes, I'm still holding on for Chris Medina.

So there you go. Wait. Simon thinks he's made a mistake. No joke, yo. The mistake had better involve Melanie. And hopefully, Simone.

He's at Melanie's house. I'm really, really happy. Rage level is now back down to 6. That's probably better for my unborn baby, anyway. So, does this mean he's going to get rid of one of the other girls? No, apparently not.

Boys: Marcus Canty, Astro (really?), Philip Lomax and Chris Rene (my fave)
Groups: Lakoda Rayne, Brewer Boys (my fave), Intensity, and Stereo Hogzz.
Over 30s: Leroy Bell, Josh Burrito (my fave), Dexter McCrazycoat, Stacy Francis
Girls: Rachel Crowe (my fave), Tiah Nopitch, Simone Forgetthelyrics, Drew Bieber, and Melanie (mah gurl).

Next week starts the live shows. Should be good. I'm out to take cold medicine and go to bed. Ugh.

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