The Final 13

Here we go. This could either go really well or be a complete trainwreck. I'm voting trainwreck.

Jenny from the Block forgot to attach the rest of her dress. That's embarrassing.

33 million votes to determine the top 13. Again, why can't that many people be involved in voting that actually matters. And yes, I know it's because 32.5 million of those people are under the age of 18.

Chase, Phillip and Jeremy are all up. Out of this group, Phillip should go through. Jeremy will probably be a wild card. Chase is dunzo.

Jimmy Iovine thinks Jeremy has a great voice and is really nice, but that's not enough to win Idol.

Jimmy Iovine thinks Chase is good-looking but there is nothing fresh, original or exciting about him. Burn.

Jimmy Iovine thinks Phillip Phillips is original and Idol needs originality. Jimmy would sign him on the spot. Nice.

America says that Jeremy is not in the top 10. Chase is not either. Phillip is in the top 10. Told ya so.

Jessica, Hollie, Brielle, and Hallie are up. Out of this group, I'll take anyone but Brielle. But really the only one I saw in the top 13 was Jessica. Paul wants Hollie (the short blonde) and Hallie (the tall blonde that looks like Marilyn Monroe).

Jimmy Iovine says Hollie could do some real damage if she had better songs.

Jimmy Iovine says Brielle is obnoxious. Oh no, Paul said that. Jimmy said that Brielle has a lot of charisma but she picked a crummy song.

Jimmy Iovine says Hallie is poised, restrained, and has a great tone. But he doesn't think America will vote for her. And he also says she's blonde.

Jimmy Iovine says Jessica has talent from A-Z and he would sign her on the spot. He also said she's the one to beat. I guess I just don't get her.

Hallie is glowing. She's making everything around her yellow.

Brielle is not in the top 10. Hallelujah.

Hallie is not in the top 10. Paul is bummed.

Hollie and Jessica are both in. Jessica was in my top 13. But as a wild card. So there's that.

Joshua, Heejun, and Adam are up. Not good. Joshua and Heejun should both be in. I have all three of these guys in my top 13. Adam as a wild card.

Jimmy Iovine says Joshua is the real deal and he wants to work with him. But he wants to make sure that it doesn't turn into Sister Act III. I don't know if I have mentioned before how much I heart Jimmy Iovine. But I do. I love him I do.

Jimmy Iovine says Adam is not pulling off the large black woman inside of his white boy body.

Jimmy Iovine says Heejun is completely confusing because he tries to be funny.

Joshua is in the top 10! YES! He's in my top 13.

Heejun is in the top 10. Awesome.

My child is screaming like he's never been fed in his entire 4 month life. Please hold.

Ok we're back.

Shannon, Skylar, Chelsea, and Baylie are up. Shannon and Skylar should be in.

Jimmy Iovine says Skylar did herself a service with her song choice and a lot of the country voted for her.

Jimmy Iovine says Baylie has all the pieces but they didn't fall into place.

Jimmy Iovine says Chelsea has a really nice voice but her performance was not original enough.

Jimmy Iovine says Shannon has a really good voice and has great poise and could use some help in styling. I would agree with that, actually.

Shannon is in the Top 10. Duh.

Skylar is in the Top 10. MAN, I'm good! ;)

Aaron, Creighton, Reed are up. Wow. I think Creighton and Reed should be in the top 13, BUT there are only 3 spots left and still a bunch of guys left to get through. So I doubt they are both in the top 10.

Jimmy Iovine thought Reed was too kitschy and cabaret. Wow. I can see that.

Jimmy Iovine says Aaron was cheesy and Don Cheadle. Wait, Don Cheadle is cheesy? I missed that memo.

Jimmy Iovine says Creighton has an interesting voice. Top end is screechy and annoys him. He did not love Creighton.

Jenny from the Block thinks Jimmy should come to the show. She also thinks what they hear there is different than what we hear here. Shouldn't that NOT be the case though? Shouldn't there "talent" surpass the bounds of space and touch our very souls as we watch from our couches? Wow, that was poetic.

Randy Yo Dawg thinks Jimmy was correct after all. Steven Tyler had some choice words for Jimmy.

I don't think Jimmy cares what the judges think, frankly.

Aaron is not in the top 10.

Creighton is not in the top 10.

Reed is not in the top 10 either.

Holy. Toledo.

Elise, Erika, Haley, and Jen are up. Elise and Haley have zero style. It's appalling actually.

Jimmy Iovine says Jen Hirsh has a really nice voice, but she needs to stay miles away from Adele. Too many Adele wannabes. I'm pretty sure I said the same thing last night. Jimmy Iovine and I are having a mind-meld.

Jimmy Iovine says Erika has music in her blood and she has great restraint, which the show needs more of. He disagrees with the judges. I think Jimmy Iovine should be a judge. Scratch that, I think Jimmy Iovine should be THE judge.

Jimmy Iovine says Haley sang out of tune the entire song and Randy was right when he said it was a nightmare. Ouch.

Jimmy Iovine says Elise has a lot of character but she pushes a little too much.

I think Jen, Erika, AND Elise should be in the top 13. So I'm not going to be happy with this result, regardless.

Haley is not in the top 10.

Erika is not in the top 10 either.

Elise is in the top 10. Jen is not. I actually agree with that.

DeAndre Makemesick, Jebenieber, Colton, and Jermaine are up. Jermaine looks like he's going to eat the other three.

Jimmy Iovine is glad the judges brought Jermaine back. He has a beautiful voice and Jimmy would listen to an entire album of his. Jimmy is rooting for him. If Jimmy Iovine got a hold of Jermaine, Jermaine would be GOLDEN.

Jimmy Iovine says DeAndre has potential and he needs a coach. And he's not ready for Earth, Wind, and Fire.

Jimmy Iovine says Jebenieber has potential but is not ready for primetime. He made a bad song choice and they should change the rules so that Jebenieber can come back if he doesn't make it.

Jimmy Iovine thinks Colton is really talented (?) and thinks he could win this thing. Jimmy has fallen under his spell.

DeAndre is not in the top 10. And now he is resorting to his second option of career choice which is apparently a hairdresser.

Colton is in the top 10. That's aggravating. I do not enjoy him and I foresee many angst filled blogs in my future.

Jermaine is in the top 10. That's incredible. VINDICATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the wild card contenders are:
Creighton
Reed
Jeremy
Aaron
DeAndre Makemesick
Jebeneiber
Adam
Chase
Jen
Chelsea
Brielle
Haley
Hallie
Erika
Baylie

The judges will choose 6 people to sing again.

Jen Hirsh is singing for her life. She is ridiculously good. She needs to make it. Why didn't she sing like this last night???? The judges are giving feedback? I can't take the suspense. FFWD.

Jeremy Rosado is singing for his life. He's singing Carrie Underwood. He sang this for his final audition. This kid has pipes. I really like him. I want him to make it.

Oh for the love. They're letting stupid Brielle sing again. GAHHHHH! I don't think you understand how much I hate her. She just tackled Ryan Seacrest. AND SHE'S SINGING ADELE. Leave Adele songs ALONE. GOOD GRIEF.

You have got to be kidding me. DeAndre gets to sing again too. He's singing "Georgia." And in "pe...peaceful dreams he sees Georgia." He's not even from Georgia. And he thinks pointing to his head will convince us that he still has a mind.

THANK YOU. Erika gets to sing again. Oh, come on. She's singing Lady Cher. 'Cause Lady Gaga copycats Cher. Her voice is so good. This is a very appropriate song choice for this situation. I realllllllly want Erika to make it.

Reed Grimm gets to sing.

So we say farewell to: Haley, Chase, Chelsea, Jebenieber, Aaron, Hallie, Adam, and Creighton. I'm REALLY surprised at Creighton.

So Reed is going to sing. He's singing "Use Me" by Bill Withers. Also, Reed is FOR SURE on the spectrum. He's not going through. He's like on the verge of insane or brilliant.

Ok the wild cards.

Randy's wild card is.............

Erika Van Pelt. And I just did some kind of crazy dinosaur sound.

Jenny from the Block's wild card is.........

Jeremy Rosado. And i just did a large amount of fist pumping.

Steven Tyler's wild card is........

DeAndre Makemesick. And I just threw up a little in my mouth.

One good thing about this turn of events is that we don't have to deal with Brielle. Or her Mom.

But they missed the boat on Jen Hirsh and Reed Grimm.

Next week the guys do Stevie Wonder and the girls do Whitney Houston. I told you so.